Interview with Dato' Seri Najib

Seriously, I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. I mean, I was in a mamak shop, with Jaden, and there were loads of other people around also, but i just couldn't help it. The headline of The SUN cracked me up and I burst into fits of laughter.

NAJIB: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!

That was the headline.

Duh! What, were you really expecting him to say anything other than that? Lets just imagine for a minute that he had in fact said something else....

S (strinie): Dato', there have been rumors saying you know about the most recent allegations concerning Anwar Ibrahim (AI). Any comment?

DSN (Dato' Seri Najib): You mean the allegations of main belakang? It wasn't a surprise to me la.

S: You mean you knew about it?

DSN: Of course la I know about it, I am the Deputy Prime Minister... Everything also I must know, otherwise cannot survive la.

S: In that case, Dato', is there any truth behind the allegations? Is AI really into that kind of sexual activity?

DSN: I don't know la, I know my wife tak suka kalu saya nak try ngan dia. That one, you kena ask his wife la. But no, the allegations I know is not true punya... Macam last time also same, we just bikin cerita, bagi sedap sikit, rakyat also will believe...

S: But repeating the sodomy allegation again, Dato', aren't you worried this time the rakyat won't believe it?

DSN: Maybe, but maybe they also still believe. But tak apa, tak jadi masalah. I am the DPM, this is our government. Kita yang run the country, so kita boleh make the arrangements. Just put in the main papers and tv and repeat a few days or weeks, the rakyat can believe it.

S: But aren't the rakyat relying more on the internet for their news nowadays?

DSN: That one only in KL, Penang, Ipoh, JB, Kuantan, big cities only. The makcik and pakcik still believe the normal newspapers. For them, they will see the paper and the news about Anwar, and it is enough for them. Even if there is no court case ke, no evidence ke, apa pun takpe juga, the makcik and pakcik won't vote for him anymore because he main belakang....hehe...

S: But in the event there is a court case, don't you think it will be difficult to convict AI again for something that the court has already overturned?

DSN: Overturn, convict, evidence, judge, AG, is all belongs to the government la... So difficult for you to understand? We put our man to make the report, we put our man to investigate the report, we put our man to take action on the investigation, we put our man to charge in court, then our man is the judge also, how can the case be lost?

S: In other words, Dato', can you confirm that you and your government have everything to do with this allegations?

DSN: Of course! This was planned by us and done by us, so how can we say we don't know or don't have anything to do with it? That would be lying wouldn't it? Any you all know that the BN government doesn't lie to the rakyat.

S: Thank you, Dato' Seri.

This would have been one heck of a newspaper report wouldn't it? I don't know, we'll never know. What I do know is it wouldn't have made me laugh so much....


ps. the above is entirely a figment of my imagination and never transpired in actual fact.